School refusal is on the rise and is a complex and challenging issue that can have profound effects on both students and their families. If you have never experienced school refusal it can be easy to say, just drop them off but there are many layers to explore when it comes to school refusal.
When a child consistently avoids attending school, it is not just their academic progress that is a concern, we must look at their overall wellbeing and mental health.
Understanding School Refusal
School refusal is not simply a case of a student not wanting to go to school. It often stems from a variety of factors, including anxiety, depression, bullying, learning difficulties, social issues, burnout or even physical health concerns. Recognising the root cause is crucial for developing effective strategies to address the problem. Sometimes it can take a significant amount of time to get to the bottom of the real reason a child doesn’t want to go to school, and sometimes, they can’t even put it into words.
The impact of school refusal on students.
- Academic Consequences: Regular school attendance is vital for academic success. When a student refuses to attend school, they miss out on valuable learning experiences, fall behind in their studies, and may struggle to catch up. It is important to consider, an unhappy or anxious student will find it more difficult to learn so getting them in the classroom is not always a win.
- Social Isolation: School refusal can lead to social isolation, as students miss out on building relationships with peers. This isolation can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and contribute to mental health issues. Seeing other students invited to play dates, birthday parties and playing special games at recess and lunchtime can lead to not wanting to attend school.
- Emotional Toll: The emotional toll on students experiencing school refusal can be immense. Depression, anxiety and stress levels may rise, leading to a negative impact on their overall mental health. Isolation is not good for anyone’s mental health, but particularly children’s as their brains are still in the rapid development phase.
The impact of school refusal on families.
- Parental Stress: Parents of children who refuse to attend school often experience heightened stress levels. Balancing work, family life, and addressing the needs of a struggling child can be overwhelming. For many parents, having to watch their child in such a level of distress that they don’t want to walk into the school gate can be heartbreaking.
- Family Dynamics: School refusal can strain family dynamics as parents may grapple with feelings of frustration, helplessness, and concern for their child's well-being. Siblings may also be affected by the disruption to family routines, the “unfairness” of their sibling being treated differently and feelings of missing out on their parents attention while the focus is on the other child and helping them navigate this tricky time. It is not uncommon to see siblings begin to act out or attempt school refusal themselves as a way to get the balance back.
- Financial Implications: Parents will often have to take time off work to address their child's school refusal or seek professional help. This can add an extra layer of stress to an already challenging situation, especially if this in a longer term problem.
Working with the School and Teachers
As with any unwanted behaviour, the quicker you can get to the root cause and start working on strategies to help, the better. When it comes to school refusal, you really need the school/teachers on board to help. In some cases, they may have a better idea of what is happening for your child than you do.
Some ways to start working with the school are:
- Open Communication: Establish open and honest communication with your child's school and teachers. Share concerns and observations, and work together to identify potential triggers for the school refusal. You may not want to interfere but the earlier you can start this the better. One day can turn into one week, to one term VERY quickly.
- Collaborative Problem-Solving: Collaborate with the school to develop a plan that addresses the specific needs of your child. This may involve adjustments to the learning environment, personalised support, or additional resources. This may also require you to advocate for your child in a way you are not used to. If your gut is telling you that something is not right, then it usually means it isn’t.
- Seek Professional Guidance: Consult with mental health professionals to gain insights into the underlying issues causing school refusal. This might be a psychologist, OT, speech pathologist or other professional. Collaborate with the school to implement strategies recommended by professionals. In many cases, at school observations and meetings can be really helpful, especially if demand burnout or overwhelm/over stimulation is a problem.
- Implement a Gradual Return: Instead of forcing a sudden return to school, work with the school to implement a gradual return plan. This may involve starting with shorter days or partial attendance and gradually increasing as the student becomes more comfortable. A great way to get started can be to get the student back into the classroom when there are activities planned that they would love such as art, PE, writing, special projects etc
- Create a Supportive Environment: Foster a supportive and understanding environment within the school community. Educate teachers, staff, and students about the challenges faced by students experiencing school refusal to promote empathy and reduce stigma. Sometimes it can be helpful to share therapist reports and recommendations to help.
School refusal isn’t something you can tackle on your own. It requires a collaborative effort between parents, students, and educators. By understanding the impact on students and families, implementing effective communication strategies, and seeking professional guidance, it is possible to create a supportive environment that promotes the well-being and academic success of all students. Remember, each child is unique, as is the reason they do not wish to attend school, so a tailored approach is key to overcoming the challenges posed by school refusal.